I hate dudes

June 14, 692

They think they are so awesome but really they suck. Theres this group of d-bags that hang at this tavern that Lesbia likes and they always hit on her. I'm so tired of this. And instead of slashing the tires on their cars I decided to deal with my aggression constructively.

ad contubernales et Egnatium

SALAX taberna uosque contubernales,
a pilleatis nona fratribus pila,
solis putatis esse mentulas uobis,
solis licere, quidquid est puellarum,
confutuere et putare ceteros hircos?
an, continenter quod sedetis insulsi
centum an ducenti, non putatis ausurum
me una ducentos irrumare sessores?
atqui putate: namque totius uobis
frontem tabernae sopionibus scribam.
puella nam mi, quae meo sinu fugit,
amata tantum quantum amabitur nulla,
pro qua mihi sunt magna bella pugnata,
consedit istic. hanc boni beatique
omnes amatis, et quidem, quod indignum est,
omnes pusilli et semitarii moechi;
tu praeter omnes une de capillatis,
cuniculosae Celtiberiae fili,
Egnati. opaca quem bonum facit barba
et dens Hibera defricatus urina.

In the tavern there are lustful brothers,
The brothers hang around the nine pillars,
You think that you alone have dicks,
You alone bid for them, that whatever girl is there,
Wants to lie with them and the rest he-goats?
Can it be that, you who sit unbroken, stupid
for a hundred ( two hundred, perhaps?), none of you intend to think
while I alone have two hundred time oral than the loungers?
But you think: I will not draw your whole face on the tavern and with it a dick.
The girl is mine, flee that of my curve,
She shall love none so great as her love,
For i wage war for the fight of her greatness,
Sit down over there. All this love is good and happy,
And indeed, that is unworthy,
All the little trifles and footpaths of adulterers;
Besides you all only have one long hair,
Son of the Celtiberians who abound in rabbits, Egnati,
They make their dark beards
And rub their teeth with urine like the Hiberus.

Man, I am so tired of people. but I've always got Lesbia.

Catullus out...